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‍By Josh Roberie with Dr. Andy Yarborough

Loneliness, as Henry Nouwen explains in his book, "Reaching Out", isn't merely a societal issue we grapple with but a deeply ingrained emotional and spiritual challenge. He writes, "...we are not called to take each other's loneliness away. When our loneliness drives us away from ourselves into the arms of our companions in life, we are in fact, driving ourselves into excruciating relationships, tiring friendships, and suffocating embraces." 

This resonated deeply with me, as loneliness and solitude have been part of my spiritual journey.

As a teenager, I relocated to a new city and state. Diving into the realms of Christian schooling and youth group, I found making new friends extremely difficult. Rejection, whether at school or church, was a daily part of my life. One night at the age of 16, I found myself in despair, not knowing what to do to end this painful cycle. 

It was during this vulnerable moment that I perceived God's voice gently nudging me to prioritize Him above seeking acceptance. This realization led me on a transformative path, where seeking God became paramount. Everything else, I decided, would have to follow.

Many also believe that marriage will solve their loneliness, providing an ever-present companion who understands them entirely. Yet, as anyone married can attest, it's not a universal remedy. This is a void only God can fill.

The philosopher and mathematician Blaise Pascal once famously said, “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of each man which cannot be satisfied by any created thing but only by God the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ.”

I now find myself thankful for having transformed my feelings of loneliness and rejection into a season of solitude with Jesus and the Holy Spirit during my teenage years. The stability that this brought to my life as guided me ever since.

Dr. Andy Yabrough says it is vital to understand the distinction between loneliness and solitude. Without this discernment, as Dr. Yarbough pointed out, loneliness could "sabotage our ministries, the quality of our marriages, and our friendships." Not necessarily leading to divorces or church losses, but certainly leaving in its wake a multitude of wounded souls. The inability to navigate this emotional landscape propels us towards further isolation, causing extensive collateral damage.

This journey I embarked on at 16, of converting loneliness into solitude by immersing myself in a relationship with the Holy Spirit, is an ongoing endeavor. One I believe is worth every ounce of effort.

It is vital to understand that the challenges of loneliness are ubiquitous. Yet, when we turn loneliness into a relationship with God instead of allowing it to fuel poor choices, it can be transformed into a tool for growth. I am eternally grateful to Jesus for leading me to the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. God’s presence filled the void of loneliness and provided a blueprint to circumvent destructive patterns, ensuring a life of purpose instead of despair.

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Each episode is also sponsored by Live Design Group. LIVE Design Group is an architectural and interior design firm working with growing organizations who are focused on creating places that bring people together. Our highly interactive LIVE Design Process lets you explore your options as the design evolves, in real time. https://www.livedesigngroup.com/.

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